Innocence mixed with Confusion
by TheBloodWeBondIn
Summary: Yuki's now living with Kaname, kept hidden from everyone. He tells her there's nothing to fear now and Zero cannot find her but Yuki is suffering from her violent nightmares & secrecy. What's happening? And why is she bothered by the fact he's her brother?
1. The First Chapter Is Always Predictable

I woke up in the darkness. I sat up, sighing finding to be alone in the mattress. Onni-sama was not here…..as usual even though he promised he would. I close my eyes and cloak myself in the coldness. Sweat drenches my hair and my mouth is shaking. I touch my quivering mouth feeling it's wanting to be covered by Kaname's. I blush at the thought.

We were lovers but he is my brother. It was wrong but it felt so right. It's been a year here. We moved to an isolate place for privacy where I would be safe he says but I don't really like it – being alone and ignorant. I don't know what's going on. He always leaves on long trips. I miss him so much and wanting things a sister shouldn't want – his _blood_ and his _body. _I lie down in the bed and shut my eyes.

"Kaname," I whispered out his name so softly that the wind overpowered me. My heart pounded remembering his touch, the way he caressed me gently and strokes my hair.

Living here, away from my friends and adopted father I was so lonely and had an unhealthy dependence to my brother. I miss Zero but he's out there, looking for me, and wants to kill me. I've been having nightmares ever since I became a vampire.

I ignored my speeding thoughts and pulled the blanket over me. I clenched my eyes tighter, seeing nothing but myself in a dark world, near a river of blood. I leaned in, to look at my reflection only to see myself next to Zero. I screamed and opened my eyes to the real darkness of the room.

There was thunder and lightning. I jumped at the sound. I cried. Each second made me cry louder.

The door opened and I screamed. "Yuki," it was Kaname's voice. I ran to him, recognizing his soft, gentle voice and his sweet scent.

"Did you have another nightmare?" he asked, hugging me.

I hid myself in his arms and nodded slowly, embarrassed.

He carried me to the bed, "It's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of." Kaname kisses my forehead first, then my cheeks, and my mouth. I blushed, trying to get a hold of myself. He pulled away, "You should go to sleep."

"I can't," I whined, touching his hair, listening to his soft sighs. "I'm not tired," I added.

His eyes tired bright red that I could see it in the darkness. "Well I'll make you tired," he smirked and pushed me on the bed…..

**To be continued…..**


	2. Safe with Me

Morning came and he moved his body from mine. He kissed me and licked the blood from my neck. I blushed and kissed him. He lied down on the bed and I snuggled close to him, flushed from the heat.

We were naked. I inhaled his scent, and sighed, exhausted. He smelled different than I remember. When I was little he smelled sweet and welcoming and now he smelled isolated but still had the sweetness. There were a few tears coming from my eyes. Onii-sama wrapped his arms around me, cradling me. "I'm sorry Yuki that I scared you," he kissed my cheek, stopping the tears to hit my face and licked the cut from my lips. "I shouldn't have forced you to do something you weren't ready for," he hugged me tighter. I felt the heat of his bloodshot eyes on me. I looked up cowardly only to be surprised. His eyes looked sad.

"It's alright," I stuttered, blushing. In fact it was great. The pain was noticeable first but after the second hour. I kissed him, feeling awkward, trying to get the same affect he had on me. I had no experienced in this department whatsoever while Onii-sama had years worth. Zero tried to kiss me once but it didn't count.

He went on top of me and faced me, "Then what's wrong?" He frowned.

"What are you keeping from me?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

He's lying. I bit my lip and my mouth raced, "Why do you leave me in this house for long hours-days-weeks, not letting me go out of the house? Where do you go? Why do you leave me?" I was distressed.

"I want to protect you. The outside world is not safe," his voice was tight but still had its calmness.

I bit my lip harder. "How is it not safe? I've been living just fine and it's been a year since I've been outside. You know I can defend for myself after all I am a Kuran too."

His eyes turned red. He was upset. My heart pounded waiting for him to reply. "Yuki, you know the circumstances. Everyone wants us killed. I'm trying to make things right," he kissed me, sucking on my lip. I tasted his tongue and let him enter. I stroked his hair, hearing both of us moan.

I shook my head, "Kaname-sama you can't always change the subject. I know about the circumstances but Kaname-sama I can take care of myself like the old times."

"The old times, I didn't have you like this." He placed his head on my chest. "All to myself and not alone, I've been alone for so long waiting for you to be old enough. You have no idea how long I waited."

"I know," I frowned, rubbing my fingers on his skin. He felt so good…. "But can there be a compromise?"

He sighed, "Very well Yuki, I'll think of something –

"And will you let me talk about with you?"

"Yes," he sighed, his skin relaxed when I touched his back. "It's just that I don't want to share my sister anymore," he chuckled, growling playfully, "Especially when she's getting more beautiful every day."

"I'm tired Onni-sama," I whimpered. "The sun's hot." I felt the ground shaking. My heart raced and I clung to Kaname. "Earthquake," I sobbed. I had a terrible phobia of earthquakes.

"I know Yuki," his voice was kind. "Don't worry I'll take us somewhere where the sun won't get us." I watched him, squinting getting dressed in his white long sleeved button up with a collar and long black slacks. He pulled out some of my underwear and bra and a red dress form the closet and dressed me gently. I held my breath, still unused to the fact that we were intimate now.

He carried me down the grand staircase. "Where are we going Onni-sama?" I asked, sighing taking in his scent.

He smiled gently, "Somewhere nice and secret." He pulled a book in the bookcase. I watched the bookcase moved, revealing a darken staircase going down. I heard the bookcase closed. There were torches on the wall. It was a long walk. He stopped when there was a coffin.

It was old fashioned, brown and wooden with carvings of roses. He opened the lid and placed me inside and went inside afterwards, closing the lid.

"This isn't your coffin," I said.

"It's yours. Our mother kept you here when there were earthquakes. You were scared of them."

"I was," memory flashed in my head. "I used to wait for you to come inside and hold me," I blushed.

"You were a cute girl," he chuckled, holding me. We kissed slowly, hearing both of our hearts beating quickly, blood pumping in and out. We were being affectionate with each other innocently and shyly like the old days. He kissed slowly and passionately, making sure he got permission for every new movement. I clung into him, the earthquake didn't exist anymore. He moved away slightly, "And now you don't have to wait anymore."


	3. Does it have to be this hard to love me?

My heart broke into pieces when I felt his warm body untangle from me. I slowly opened my eyes, staying quiet, watching him leave the coffin.

I clenched my eyes.

"I'll be back soon before you wake up, I promise," Kaname whispered. I heard him close the coffin and leave.

I waited a few seconds before I followed him. He thinks I'm sleeping. I didn't worry if he could smell my scent, because everywhere in this house was drenched in my scent. He couldn't tell the difference. I can't believe he was leaving me again. I hate being the clingy obsessive girl but Kaname has changed since I found out I was a vampire, his sister to be exact. He's been darker and colder.

We haven't been close the way we were before.

I walked upstairs quietly, hiding in the shadows – watching the book case close. I waited for a few minutes and waved my hand over the bookcase, making it move. I looked everywhere in the mansion, trying to find him. He was nowhere around nothing but shatter glass and books from the aftershock. I couldn't get out of the mansion. He locked me inside. I sighed giving up, going to the kitchen.

I sat on the counter, sighing, laying my head on the crystal countertop. "Why does he have to treat me like this? Like I'm a child," I mumbled.

"Me or the bastard?"

I jumped from the seat, falling on the floor. Silver hair and silver eyes….. "Zero," my mouth dropped.

He walked slowly to me with the usual scold on his face. I eyed at his legs…..he's limping. "You miss me?" he grabbed me before I could run.

"What are you doing here!" I screamed. My back arching when he threw me on the couch. He jumped on me so hard the couch broke.

He pulled at my hair. "I miss you Yuki," he bit my neck.

"Get out!" I kicked and screamed. "What do you want?" I breathe heavily.

Zero pulled on the straps of my dress, biting deeper in my neck. "I want you. We're together now let's do something about it." He sucked on my blood, scraping his teeth on my flesh.

"Kaname!" I screamed. "Kaname help!" I cried.

"He can't hear you, he's not here. Don't act like you don't want this Yuki."

"Kaname!" I screamed, squirming. I slapped Zero, screaming for Kaname still. Zero's eyes turned red. He took off his tie and bound my arms.

"Zero stop!" I pleaded.

"You want me Yuki," he kissed me, ripping my clothes off. "And I want you. I love you."

"Kaname! Kaname!" I ignored Zero's voice and screamed for Onni-sama.

"It'll be all over soon, I promise." Zero stroked my cheek and covered my mouth. "Why is it always hard for you to love me?


	4. I'm not holy anymore but I wish I was

He left me on the ground and walked out.

One.

Two.

Three.

And he was gone.

So was everything I thought I knew about him. He raped me and left me on the ground, shivering, amongst the shreds of my red blood dressed and drenched in our blood. I twitched. My eyes unable to close, it was like someone shot me but instead I wasn't dead. And the feeling I was experiencing was the _raw,__** definition of hysteria.**_

I got up after lying on the floor for hours. My head was bleeding and I threw up blood, filled with fear and guilt. It was like I cheated on Onni-sama. I betrayed him when I stopped calling for Onni-sama. I cried, hugging myself. There were bruises and scars on me. I felt dirty and cheap and weak. Feminism was dead and all I wanted was Onni-sama to be here and hold me and smile when he kissed me.

It got dark and Onni-sama wasn't here yet. I called him twelve times…..no answer. I was naked on the floor still, still hugging myself, repeating over and over Kaname's name trying to block out the damn words Zero said to me.

"_Is it so hard to love me Yuki?" he screamed, angry and hurt. I didn't say anything. He pulled my hair forcefully for me to look at him. "You're in love with brother. How sick are you. How can you be in love with your brother?"_

Kaname-sama wasn't really my brother but the word brother was simpler than to explain who he really was. I stood up. Realizing Kaname wasn't going to be here anytime soon. I limped, crawling to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I got dressed and brushed my hair. I stared at myself in the mirror. There were bruises and cuts on my face but the black eye distracted it all.

Zero didn't hit me there but when I tried to escape I hurt myself in the process. I cried, lying on top of the stairs. It seemed like it was yesterday when I was human.

When I used to enjoy watching TV but now the TV was too loud and bothered me or when I loved to be with my best friend Yori and Zero. Everything's different now. I slowly went down the stairs and cooked myself some eggs and bacon. I ate slowly and pulled out my Ipod. I moved my way to the broken couch. There were still shreds of my clothes. I cried softly, feeling worthless. I couldn't defend myself and I was a pureblood vampire. I listened to Flyleaf's In the Dark to fall asleep.

I've written songs in the dark  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark<br>I've felt inspired in the dark  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark<p>

I hide myself in the dark  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark<br>Used to be afraid of the dark  
>Of the dark, of the dark, of the dark<br>Those in the light know we die in the dark  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark<p>

There's only artificial light here  
>My flaws hide well here<br>I used to be afraid of cluttered noises  
>Now I'm afraid of silence<p>

Fill this space idle words  
>I'm scared to death of light and silence<br>Jesus kill me inside this  
>Raise me up to live again<br>Like You did, like You did


	5. I'm Bulletproof but not Scissorproof

I stared at myself in the mirror. A week went by and I was a mess. There was still bruises and cuts on me. My hair was a mess and I haven't slept for days. I was a monster.

I haven't eaten in days as well. I was listening to my music to keep me alive. Onni-sama isn't here. I can hear his voice asking me if I like what Zero did. I can feel Onni-sama ashamed of me. I'm not strong enough even though I said I was.

I went outside in the gardens. In a week I abandoned the gardens and the flowers were dying from thirst and so was I. I haven't had Onni-sama's blood in so long. I sighed. I had to tend to the garden. I watered the plants one by one with care. There were a lot of vines. I grabbed the huge scissors from the cupboard and started to trim the vines and thorns. A week and Onni-sama is not here.

I still felt Zero hurting me and the words he said. Kaname's words poison me with depression and loneliness. I never felt so scared before not even Rido had this much affect on me. I fell on my knees on the grass, still holding on the scissors. I looked at my arms. I quickly pull up my sleeves.

I hear nothing but the song "Pretty Girl" by Sugarcolt.

_Pretty Girl (the way)  
>Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything<br>Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about  
>And That's what you get for falling again<br>You can never get 'em out of your head  
>And That's what you get for falling again<br>You can never get 'em out of your head_

_It's the way  
>That he makes you feel<br>It's the way  
>That he kisses you<br>It's the way  
>That he makes you fall in love<em>

_She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and  
>Her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men<br>And that's what you get for falling again  
>You can never get 'em out of your head<br>And that's what you get for falling again  
>You can never get 'em out of your head<em>

I let out a small cry, cutting my arms slowly in slashes. After the first two the pain numbed and my cuts started to become more and appearing faster on my flesh. I screamed, remembering what Zero did to me and cut deeper and longer violently, trying to ease the pain that it was nothing.

I let out another cry, looking at my skin. I was bleeding, a lot in pools dripping down to the grass. I studied my flesh the cuts closer to my wrists were faint while the ones going above grew longer and longer and deeper as you look up.

Tears burned my face, realizing what I done but the pain I liked it.

It half filled the pain of Kaname-sama's absence and my loneliness in the cell.

I looked at the blade of the scissors and saw that I was no longer human, just a vampire. I frowned, crying harder. I held the scissors again in my hands and violently cut off my hair.


	6. I love you

"Yuki," Kaname gasped. I saw his reflection in the big garden scissors. I hugged myself, clenching my eyes trying to hide my arms.

He was holding my bleeding arms. He lifted me up, still glaring at my arms with worried eyes.

My eyes burned with anger at myself. For him seeing me like this.

"Yuki," Kaname's voice lowered into a gentle tone. "What happened? What have you done to yourself? Your arms and hair…" I chopped off the left side to my ears and the right was nothing but layers of madness.

"It's nothing," I lied, pulling away but his grip was strong. I sighed, looking meekly at his eyes. They were blood red. Blood red when he yearned for blood. Blood red when he was sad. Blood red when he was furious.

"Tell me the truth Yuki, I'm not a fool. Why would you do something so low? I would expect this kind of behavior from a human but not you," Kaname-sama scolded at me, holding me tighter.

I was human. I wanted to say that but when I saw that he was hurt, instead I felt petty and feeble, "I was sad Onni-sama," I told him in a child's voice.

Kaname took a deep breath and let go of me. "I know there's more to the story, _tell me._"

I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to tell him but I was afraid. Afraid of what he would do. Afraid if he gets mad.

I ran out but he got me, and hugged me tightly from behind. He was breathing heavily, calm. His face was on my neck, smelling me. "You're covered in Zero's scent," his voice clenched up. "Tell me what happened now!" he demanded.

My mouth fidgeted and I burst into tears. "He c-came and he raped m-me," I stuttered, finding it hard to breathe. My chest was tightening, burning me. "WHERE WERE YOU? YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ANYMORE WITH OUT TELLING ME!" my voice raised. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?"

I cried harder, my body was shaking so much. I was angry at him when he couldn't be there but I knew he would if he was there. There was a long silence.

His skin turned hot, he let go of me and faced me. "I'm sorry," he kissed me. "Don't cry Yuki, it's alright now," he touched my hair. He was calm. I jumped into his arms, burying my face in his chest. "Are you still hurt?"

I didn't say anything.

Onni-sama picked me up. He put me on the couch. I peek out my head, watching him in the kitchen cook. He knew how much I hated maids and servants. I liked being independent. It was a new experience watching him cook. I did the cooking. He made porridge and lemonade. It was good but it was plain.

"Where are we going?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck letting him scoop me up, inhaling his scent.

Before I knew it we were in the bathroom upstairs. He placed me on the ground, gently tugging at my clothes. I blushed, forgetting how sad I was and asked, "What's going on?"

He let out a devious smile, chuckling. He turned on the water, "I'm going to give you a bath to clean you from his scent."


	7. Where were you when I needed you?

Onni-sama helped me put on a fluffy bath robe. I blushed, too embarrassed to look at him. He chuckled, grabbing a towel, drying my hair.

"You smell good," he smiled, drying his own hair.

We walked in the bedroom, instead of putting on clothes I laid on the bed in my bathrobe. I snuggled myself against the nice soft cool sheets. Onni-sama lied right next to me, cuddling. I blushed harder, trying to control my smiling.

"Do you feel better now Yuki?" he asked me, running his fingers through my wet knots.

"A little," I sniffled. I still remember the whole thing. I remember how cold Zero was and how the pain was. I still had bruises on my body and they felt like heavily infected tattoos. "I just don't like being touched right now Onni-sama," I whispered."

"Not when I kiss you like this?" He put a kiss on my neck gently, stroking my back. He left a trail of butterfly kisses. I like that about him. How he can be very sweet and gentle with me. I sniffled again but smiled, closing my eyes. He kissed my slightly smiling mouth. "Onni-sama," I blushed, turning to him and holding him.

"I feel your blood. You're thirsty," he said.

"I am," I said licking his neck. I dug my fangs deep into his flesh, slowly licking the blood running out. I drank, trying to control from drinking so eagerly.

"Ahhh…that's it," he moaned, stroking my hair. He moved away and just held me. I winced, still bruised.

"What if I'm pregnant?" I asked. "With his baby?" I whispered.

"You shouldn't worry," he said through clenched teeth. "Vampires can't reproduce until their seventeen years old."

I sighed with relief. I lucked out with a year less. "I want revenge. I want to hurt him, make him feel the same way I'm feeling right now."

Onni-sama kissed my forehead, "Soon karma will come and avenge for you. I got something for you."

"Really?" I lit up like a child.

Onni-sama left the room and came back with arms behind his back. "Your present has been sleeping in a spare room."

"What is it?" I asked, eager.

"I'll show you it if you give me a kiss."

I smiled and kissed him. It was a puppy with a bow around its neck. It's small and fluffy brown with the cutest dark brown eyes ever.

"Thank you!" I kissed Kaname again. I held the puppy. "What's his name?"

"Whatever you want."

"I'll name him Buttons, he's so cute!" I smiled.

_**Later that night….**_

I felt a loss of warmth from Kaname. I opened my eyes, waiting for my sight to adjust. It was dark and the presence of depression and hopelessness was here again.

"Onni-sama?" my heart fell. He wasn't here on the bed. I walked around looking for him. Buttons leaped from his bed and followed me, making sounds of loneliness. "Onni-sama?" I called for him. No reply.

I went back to the bedroom after searching the entire house. Looking for him outside was pointless. There was a letter on the bed. It was in fancy calligraphy, his writing.

_Yuki,_

_I'll be back soon. I hope you won't miss me too much. I'll be back soon. I'm sorry I have to leave you again, but I want to let you know I love you. I forgot to tell you that I enrolled you to a school. You always say how much you want your life back and I think being in a school will make you happy right? We'll talk about it later. I have some unfinished business to finish with Zero, _

_Sincerely, _

_Kaname_


	8. Author's alert, will update chaps!

Sorry I haven't updated! I know it's a long time. Sorry….The whole time I was dealing with things. I was helping my friend through cancer. I will post chapters. ..


	9. The Monster I really Am

**Author's Note : to a reviewer, yes Yuki did get raped but I'm not going to leave it like that without justice :)**

**SORRRRYYY for abandoning this site, a whole year of helping my friend through cancer - being by his side I forgotten everything else. BUT i will update chapters  
><strong>

A soft hand brushes my cheek, my eyes lit up immediately from my sleep, startled by the touch. I soften seeing who it was. "Onni-sama?"

"It's okay Yuki," he hushed, calming my tense nerves. "I have something to show you," he says in his soothing voice. He scoops me onto his back, taking me into the deep places I have not adventured.

It was sad; I've been here so long and yet I barely knew the places like the back of my hand. He places me down. I looked around, studying my surroundings. We were in an underground chamber.

I raised my eyebrow at him. I open my mouth, trying to gather my thoughts. "W-why are we –

I stop myself, seeing Zero chained to the wall. He was battered, drenched in sweat – his mouth bound by a white cloth that was stained with blood. The scent of blood was fresh. His shirt is shredded by what looks to be sharp claws, revealing claw scratch marks. The marks were so deep, revealing scar tissue, mustering out. My heart pounded, looking up at Kaname.

He doesn't look at me but looks straight into nothing. He looks angered and emotionless all at once. You know when he was angry when he showed nothing to you. Nothing to mask his deep feelings he felt. Kaname snatches me by the wrist. His grip is tight. "Now Yuki" – the darkness I heard from his mouth makes me numb to the bone. "Do whatever you want to this _filth_. Hurt him – give him the same pain he gave to you. He's worthless," he hisses.

I was still ignorant, unable to figure what I was supposed to do.

Kaname looks at me, his teeth are gritted. "Hurt him."

I pull away, startled by his demanding tone.

"It's alright Yuki," he pushes me violently towards Zero. "Kill him if you have to."

I looked into Zero's eyes. The feelings of anger and fear I had for Zero seemed to vanish. What he did was unforgivable but I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't. I shook my head.

Kaname's eyes turned red with madness. "He _hurt_ you Yuki. He touched you even though he knew you were _mine._ How can you easily let him slide?" he screeched, breaking his calm, gentle tone.

"This is not right," I looked at Kaname straight in the eyes. "I don't want to cause pain on anyone!"

"If you're not. Then I will." Kaname charges at Zero. Kaname waves his hand, making Zero's blood eat him alive, tearing apart its own master. I watch in shock, unable to move as Kaname's eyes flash a deeper shade of red – making the chains shatter. Kaname tears Zero up limb by limb, cursing and shouting as if he was a beast. "She's mine! You don't touch her!" he screams still at the dead remains.

He screams, filled with rage as he smears the remains of Zero's blood on the wall. I was fidgeting in fear of what I saw. Who was this? I couldn't recognize Kaname underneath the rage – the blood – the recklessness.

Kaname turns to look at me, his eyes turn brown.

I shake my head, there were tears coming out of my eyes. He was a monster. A monster. Hiding in a sweet, gentle body. What Zero did was bad, but killing him – it was pure evil – sinful how Kaname killed him.

I run away but he grabs me by the waist, pressing kisses on my neck desperately. I screamed, struggling to get out of his grasp. "Let me go! Let me go!" I cried, pounding frantically for release. He holds me down, leaving kisses still.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. "I'm sorry that you have to see what I really am."

* * *

><p><strong>AN****: Sorry it's been a long time since I updated :( Don't worry next update will be in 2 days time :) I hope you guys like this long meant to be posted chapter .**


	10. Bad Souls, Good Souls

**Author's Note: Wow! Just wow….over fifty reviews :') I love you guys.**

I tossed in my bed, unable to sleep in his arms. He smelt of Zero's blood. Oh god, he was a killer. He killed Zero. In front of me.

I slipped underneath his arms only to be taken by them in a possessive manner. "What's wrong?" he asks, yawning, tightening his grip on me.

I bit my lip. "Nothing. Bad dream."

"About Zero?" he asks as he cupped my face.

My head nods, forcing myself to believe in the lie as well.

"He won't hurt you anymore," his voice is husky.

"What did you do with his soul?" I asked. Vampires die but they're souls can't.

"I put it in an empty glass bottle," he says almost naturally.

I raised my eyebrow, turning myself to face him. "A glass bottle?"

He nods, yawning. "And wrapped it with string, and put it away with the others."

I stared at him. Where did he put all the things he hid? I swallowed hard. There was something more going on than I thought. "Can you show me where you put his soul?"

Kaname glares at me, shaking his head. "I think not."

I bit my lip, caressing his face with care. "Please," I begged, sucking on the soft spot of his neck that I had bitten days before. "I would love to see it," I coaxed, batting my eyelashes slowly. His face twists only to be still from my lips on his.

I pulled away, stroking his hand. "Very well." He holds my hand, helping me out of the mattress. My legs hurt, pained by last night him taking me as a way to forget my fears of seeing him kill. He was rougher last night; I knew he was to get rid the touches Zero left.

Kaname was a possessive man, yet I loved him.

He took me to one of the mazes in the gardens. Those mazes were the ones I dare not go for the idea of getting lost bothered me.

"You keep souls here?" I asked, tightening my grip on my umbrella. I hated the sun – ironic since I loved it.

He nods, chuckling softly to himself.

We stopped, my mouth opens seeing a grand old tree. The tree was tall, with many branches spreading out to its heart's content. I saw nothing but colorful glass bottles hanging from the trees. I went closely to one bottle, seeing some swirling inside. Souls.

They were vampire souls.

"You keep souls?"

"All the bad souls I had kill," he turns. I could hear his face falling. "And good," he sighs.

I hold a stained glass faded blue bottle, staring at the blue aura soul.

He hugs me from behind, inhaling me. I feel myself breathing heavily. He was sad, guilty. "The one you are holding is the soul of your real brother I killed."


	11. The Light of This Soul is Akira

**Author's Note****:Okay i love you guysssss :') thank you guys for being super cool people and giving this story a chance after i left this site for over five months :) I will award you guys with a quick update :D  
><strong>

"My brother?" I gasped. I knew the tale. During Kaname's awakening Kaname's body was nothing but ashes so my Uncle Rido kidnapped my blood related brother for Kaname to consume the body.

"Yes," his whole face is saddened with guilt and shame. "I've done horrible things in all my years, but I never killed an infant before. An innocent infant."

I stroked the bottle in my hands, looking at it. My real brother – I shall call him Akira. Akira in Japanese mean bright. I touched Kaname's cheek, "You didn't mean it, you were consumed by weakness and thirst when you were awakened."

He chuckled slowly, his slight smile was faint. His eyes closed, shutting momentarily before he took the bottle in my hand, tying it back to the string.

"May I speak to my brother?" I asked.

Kaname's eyes turned cold, filled with hate. "Why?"

"I want to know him," I said firmly, cringing at the sound of his voice. Possessiveness. That kind of possessiveness I hated with a passion. I was not his object or a toy. I wanted to know my real brother out of innocence, not out of anything that went on Kaname's mind.

He blinked several times, taking me by the hand, taking me away from the tree of souls. "No."

"Kaname!" I pulled from him. "Are you threatened?"

His eyes narrowed, turning bright red.

"I love you, remember that." I went on my toes, touching the tip of his chin.

"He might steal you away."

"I love you." I said. I wanted to scream it at him. Why wasn't he wrapped around the idea I loved him as well.

"He is your real brother. He and you were meant to be."

"You and I are meant to be."

"You don't understand," he shook his head. He grabbed my hand taking me away again but I planted my feet on the ground. I let him take us back to the mansion after seeing him losing his temper. His sign of losing his temper were his fangs showing. "Pure blood siblings are made so they can marry each other. They are destined to fall in love and marry ever since before time. And of that I know you'll love him more than me. We were never really meant to be," his frowned deepened.

"Kaname, please," I begged. I didn't know what else to day. He was worried that I would love someone other than him but I need to talk to Akira – to get to know my real brother.

"Please understand Yuki."

I move from his grasp, saying nothing as I went to the bathroom. I locked myself, falling gently on the porcelain tiles of the bathroom, hiding my face in my legs. I began to cry, frustrated that I was a prisoner. I was his dog. Doing tricks to please him to get what I want.

I will talk to Akira.

And he can't stop me.


	12. Souls Live In Shattered Memories

_"Yuki, Yuki," Akira's voice called out for me._

_I turned, looking for him. I breathe heavily, finding myself in a strange house. It was like a playhouse for dolls. _

_"Where are you?" I asked, yelling._

_"Come here. Come here."_

_My eyes widened seeing an aura appear before me. The aura was the color of light blue – light blue meant truth, clarity. I followed Akira. "Where are we going?" I asked as he took me to a place I did not know._

_We were in a maze like house – a doll house I used to have….only enlarged. Baby pink walls with printed white hearts – plastic ovens and tables – everything was exact. Painted rooms, with wood used to separate the "rooms". I blinked several times._

_"Where are we going?" I asked again, struggling to keep up with Akira._

_"Memories before Master imprisoned me. I used to roam freely," his voice was like fainted echos._

_"Memories? This is my doll house."_

_"Inside the mind, memories are stored abstractly by their soulmate's favorite thing as a child; yours was you doll house."_

_"Soulmate?" I asked dumbly. My uncle Rido was supposed to be with my mother but she fell in love with my father (Rido and my mother's brother)._

_"Yes." _

_I liked his voice, it had some likeness of Kaname's but more crisper, frailing, and a pitched lower. Of course their voices would be alike. Kaname took over Akira's body._

_"I'll show you," Akira added. _

_My eyes widen; seeing a part of him shape into an arm. He took me by the hand. The hand was light and airy. _

_He took me to a room. I began to shake. Memories. The living room when Kaname and I were children and we still had our parents alive. Everything was exact in the living room – beautiful rugs, glorious paintings, huge windows with a window seat, grand velvet red couches, and a grand table and chandelier. _

_Four people were there. My mother and father. They were sitting on the couch, my mother leaning against my father in a shy manner. They smiled softly, watching their two children play – the two children were two younger versions of me and Kaname. There was five year old me; playing with her dollhouse. Eight year old Kaname was right beside the five year old, playing with her with a warm gaze._

_"Look," Akira pointed. _

_There was an aura, a smaller blue aura in the corner – watching – I suppose._

_I turn at Akira. "You used to watch during the years?'_

_"Yes," his voice fell. "Every day I would watch someone use my body, taking over my life. For years. I used to watch until you were fifteen. That was when Master bottled me up and kept me in the mansion."_

_"I'm sorry." I meant it. I struggled, attempting to touch Akira. "It isn't fair for you to have your life taken but he didn't mean it."_

_"He did."_

_I shook my head. "No, Akira, Kaname didn't."_

_"He meant it."_

_"Kaname is a kind per-_

_"He's not. He wanted you. He's evil."_

_"He's not!" I stomped my foot. My heart is beating rapidly, feeling the house shake. The younger versions faded, turning into black auras, vanishing to nothing._

_"Run away," he echoed._

_"Why should I? What gives you any right for me to believe you?" I challenged him. I loved Kaname. I wasn't going to leave Kaname. I loved him. And he loved me. He sacrificed and protected me all the years. Lived lonely for ten years before he awakened me._

_"I'm your real brother!" he hissed._

_"So? What does that have to do with anything?" I bit my lip. "I didn't grow up with you. I grew up with Kaname. He's my brother," I pulled away from Akira. "I trust him more." That part was a lie. I barely trusted him but I knew whatever Kaname did was for me._

_"He's evil. You should run away," he repeated._

_"He loves me!"_

_"He doesn't love you Yuki."_

_"You're lying!" I feel my tears well up. No one ever told me that. Everyone knew he loved me. All the vampires and humans did. He was affectionate with me. He displayed affection to me out of the others. I watch the doll house crumble and I found myself alone, in the darkness, standing over nothing._

_I heard his voice. But I didn't see him. I just heard his voice._

_"He doesn't love you Yuki."_

My eyes opened, my mouth gasping for air. What a horrible dream…..but it felt so real…..I tossed and turned, turning to face Kaname. He was fast asleep, his arms possessively around my torso. I looked at him, faintly smiling. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking.

Thinking about Akira's words. Kaname loved me. He loved me. Akira didn't know anything.

Kaname's eyes opened. "Another nightmare?" his face looked disheartened. He smoothed down my hair, stroking my cheek. "Don't worry, nothing will hurt you."

I nodded, kissing him. I feel his mouth curve into a smile as we kissed. We kissed slowly but it grew into a fast kiss, battling to dominate each other. I wanted to forget. I just wanted to focus our feelings for each other; our desperateness to always have one another. My hands wound up in his hair, tasting his tongue after he bit my lip for entrance.

As we kissed, I felt him tugging at my clothes, his hand underneath my shirt. He was rubbing my breast. I thought as we kissed. I wrapped my legs around him as he went on top of me. I had to see Akira. To know what it's like with Akira. No more dreams of the possibilities of him. I want it to be reality. The plan had to be perfect. No loose strings. Nothing. If Kaname knew he would be furious. I didn't want to see him mad at me. His promise of making me enrolled in school was out of the window due to my begging of talking to my brother.

Why couldn't Kaname understand I loved him and meeting my real brother wouldn't change anything. I grew up with Kaname, we had something more special than a blood bond.

So it was definite.

When Kaname was out on one of his mysterious trips, I will see Akira. I would leave some markings and bring a paper and pencil to map out and figure where I'm going in the maze. I carefully pull of his shirt, letting him do the same with my nightdress.

I had to be careful.


	13. Nothing Scares Me Anymore

**Author's Note****: Sorry for late update. Been busy and had those horrible writer's block. I changed my fan fiction name to the BloodWeBondIn because my old account name was a name I chose when I was depressed. The new name is picked from a song I made. I like it because it's dark and simple.**

**Please review :D**

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><p>For a whole week I've been feeling...sort of strange. I found myself losing an appetite for human food; growing more and more thirsty for blood. I was losing so much weight and I've been getting headaches. Horrible headaches. And I've been coughing up blood.<p>

Kaname didn't know what was wrong with me, but he took care of me.

It was sweet of him but I hated being dotted around. I could take care of myself.

I finally convinced Kaname to go on his delayed trip. He was supposed to go a week ago but since I got sick, he's been there taking care of me. I was still sick, but I didn't care. I had to talk to Akira. I have to. I'm growing so impatient I could scream at the top of my lungs. Each day for the whole entire week I've been haunted by the beautiful nightmare I had - the dream I had a conversation with Akira.

I took a deep breath, jumping from the coffin. I grabbed my umbrella, notebook, pen, and sunglasses; heading off to the sunlight. I grumbled, slipping on my sunglasses on. My vision had grown really poor since my transformation. Kaname explained that the Kuran women in our family are really sensitive to light and are near blind in the daytime. I squinted, inhaling as I made my way in the garden maze.

Everything was all a blur; I don't remember where Kaname led us. I stuttered, finding four possible ways to go. I cursed underneath my breath and recorded this down in my notebook - struggling while holding my umbrella, taking one direction. This was going to take the whole day! Well...I have to think of a bright side...Kaname was going to be out for several days - I have time -

Dang it!

There were another three possible ways to go.

This was going nowhere.

"Why didn't I think of it before?" I screamed. I dropped my notebook and pen and started to climb up the plant walls, clutching possessively to my umbrella. The umbrella was my only shield from the sunlight. I flipped up, landing on top of the twelve foot wall. I stared off beyond me, instinctively looking for the Bottled Souls Tree.

There it was. Several feet away from me. I ran to the tree, jumping and leaping from each wall to wall. I flipped down to the ground, landing on my feet.

"Wow that was easier than I thought," I realized.

I looked up, staring at the tree - the glass colorful bottles of sky blue, baby pink, seafoam green. Some bottles were beer bottle shaped with corks and jar shaped. The bottles were all glowing frantically like fireflies bottled up. I swallowed hard. How was I going to know which soul was Akira? Kaname bottled up both bad and good souls - if I opened the wrong one I would have released any sort of evil. I bit my lip. I walked around the huge tree. "Um hello," I said softly, blushing. It seemed silly talking to the bottles. "Akira...Akira...which one of you is Akira?" I sighed.

The bottles rang like bell chimes at the same time, banging at different times. I twirled my umbrella. "This is no help," I muttered. I gasped watching the bottles. They were moving - colliding and clink against each other. How sad. They were so desperate to be freed. I shook my head. I couldn't free all of them. Half the souls were evil.

"Well...let's narrow this out then. Akira was in a blue bottle, a beer shaped bottle." I went to all of the beer shaped bottles, looking at them. They didn't spoke to me the way Akira did. I went around and paused, feeling an aura pull me.

"Akira?" I whispered, untying the bottle.

The bottled chimed peacefully and I felt my heart relax.

"Akira," I said, smiling.

"I wanted to talk to you," I added. I released him, watching him slowly escape the bottle, floating around. I told him of the dream I had. "So what does it mean?"

Akira shift to a face, a similar face to Haruka's but younger. "I sent you the dream," he responded, his eyes flickering at me.

"Why?"

"You needed to know, " his voice echoed gently.

"You're wrong. Kaname loves me," I said stubbornly.

"How is this love?" he asked. "You call it love even though he took you away, locked you up in the house. When was the last time you had contact with anyone besides him?"

I flinched, startled by his words. Kaname loved me. He wanted to protect me. "Um...now and then he gets Ruka or Aido to come-

"To check on you," Akira finished.

There was a long pause from him.

I didn't say anything, unable to know what was the right thing to say. His words. What he said...he knew I was lonely from being alone...

"You've been stripped from human civilization. You're like his puppet," he mused, indifferent.

"I've been sick," I admitted. I didn't know why I told him. Probably to change the subject.

"You have?" his voice dropped. He studied me, looking deeply at my eyes that were caked from dark circles. I bit my lip, trying to contain myself. I was terribly thirsty. I haven't drank any blood in two hours.

"Yeah...I don't know. It's not a cold or flu or anything -

"Vampires don't get sick."

I raised my eyebrow. "They don't? Then...t-then why do I feel sick?"

"Tell me your symptoms."

"Well..." I paused. "I've been getting really thirsty for blood - having headaches - losing a lot of weight - and I've been coughing up blood."

Akira smiled softly. "You're not sick. It's perfectly normal."

"Normal? How is it normal?"

"You're pregnant," he said as if it was simple.

"Pregnant?" I scoffed. I felt my whole face grow pale from shock. What if it was Zero's baby? "It's not possible. Kaname said that vampires can't get pregnant until their bodies hit seventeen. I'm only sixteen years old!"

"So sad," Akira shook his head. "You've been here so long that you don't know how much time had passed."

"What do you mean?" I snapped.

"You've been here for two years. You've been seventeen for a month and a week already."

I blinked several times, shaking my head. What if it was Zero's baby? What would Kaname say? "N-no...no. This can't be true."

"Yuki, you're pregnant."


	14. We Can't Go Around Being Blinded By Hope

**Author's Note: sorry it's been a while since I updated. ITS JUST..ITS SO HARD TO TOP OF THE LAST CHAPTER**

**I HOPE I DID IT JUSTICE**

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><p>I waited for Kaname to return. I needed to speak to him. About my pregnancy. I was never so confused before - hurt - lost...so weak. Pregnancy - I was completely terrified of. Akira told me that vampire pregnancy makes you vomit and cough up blood. He says that the reason why I cough up blood is because the baby gets hungry and feeds at my organs. He said it was a difficult thing - to carry a baby - especially when I'm so new. My mother didn't have me until she was hundreds and hundreds years old.<p>

"Yuki?" Kaname's eyebrow raised. "Why are you up? It day time. You're usually sleeping."

"I always wait for you." It was the truth. I always did. I barely slept - especially knowing I was carrying life within me. I waited days for him without sleeping. How could I? I could possibly be carrying Zero's baby. I was seventeen years old and pregnant - and the worst part was that I didn't know I was seventeen years old. I remember the day when Akira told me I was pregnant. I didn't believe him until I went to my cellphone - a cellphone I haven't used since Kaname took me away. And Akira was right. I was seventeen years old.

"What's wrong? You sound cold," his eyes soften, taking me a warm embrace.

My eyes lower, melting in him. He's so warm. I snapped out of my lovesickness and looked at him. "Why haven't you told me I'm seventeen?" I demanded.

"What do you me-

"You said I didn't need to worry about getting pregnant since I wasn't seventeen but I'm seventeen! Why have you kept that away f-fr-om me?" I was trembling, unable to hold back all the confusion and hurt. I felt myself cracking into pieces. "Wasn't enough for you?!" I screeched. "You took me away from everything I loved and keep me locked up here! And now you keep my age away?" I was crying. Crying so much.

Kaname put me in his arms, stroking the messed up parts in my hair. "Yuki," his voice was soft and forgiving. "Everything I do is to keep you safe. I didn't want you to worry about if you were pregnant or not-

I moved away from his arms but he didn't let me. He held me tighter. "But I am pregnant," I gritted my teeth.

Kaname looked at me, stunned.

My heart was beating; waiting for his reaction.

"How would you know you were pregnant? You barely know your vampire body." His eyes twitched firmly. That part was true. I was still new and oblivious to my vampirism.

"I've been throwing up!" I carried on, looking at him. Could he possibly know that I've been talking to Akira? "I've been craving so much blood. I only figured. Since I found out I'm seventeen years old -

"You say it like it's a bad thing," he kissed me. I can feel his lips curve into a joyful smile - he was happy - delighted that I was pregnant. My heart dropped. He think that it's his baby. What if it was Zero's baby - what if it was twins - twins...I don't think my body can handle that.

"What if it's not yours?" I didn't care if it hurt him. It was better to get all the hurt away quickly before the baby came out. Things can't be super happy. I've known that from experience. Everything in my life has been nothing but sadness and pain. I lost my parents - spent years figuring out who I was - been betrayed so many times - been hurt..."What if it's Zero's?" my tears spilled out from me. Flashes. Flashes of Zero raping me - making me feel so small. And he used to be my best friend.

"It has to be my baby," Kaname chuckles. "We've been active for a while now."

I blushed, feeling all jittery from his voice. "But Zero raped me. You can't forget that." I had to be rational. I couldn't go wishing the baby to be Kaname's. I can't let myself be blinded by love. I'm a strong girl.

"Then I will love the baby besides that," he smiles at me. "Even though I'm not Haruka and Juuri's biological son - they loved me like their son. It doesn't matter to me if it's his baby or not. I will love the baby because half of it is you."

I smiled, the tears stopped. I thought he would be mad - deny the baby. For days Akira had been threatening me, telling me that Kaname would kill the baby if it wasn't his. I didn't believe Akira but I didn't know how Kaname would react. "I don't think I'm ready to be a mother," I admitted. I was only seventeen years old - vampire and human years.

He laughs, winding a lock of my hair around his slender fingers. "I don't think I'm ready to be a father either but I'm excited to be."

My body relaxes, going on my toes to kiss him. "You better bring me pregnancy books next time you go on your trips."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>**Sorry short chapter but I wanted to leave it happy for once :)**

**Please review :D  
><strong>

**Going to change this to M - M FOR A REASON :D  
><strong>

**K now the decision is up to you. Do you guys want a 20 chapter story (not including A/A) or a 30 chapter story?  
><strong>

**Cuz i'm a type of person that can go on writing on and on and I need to know my limit so I can wrap it up nicely :D  
><strong>


	15. I don't want to hear you

**Author's Note: OMGOODNESS. I'm almost at 100 reviews :') So touched.**

**here's a chapter. Sorry it's a little short. Eee hope you guys enjoy. I won't be updating until next saturday or sunday. I got school stuff next week and more studying.  
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><p>There was so much confusion.<p>

But I couldn't spill out my heart in the dark.

The words Akira said...it haunted me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to Kaname. "I'm not in the mood right now."

I didn't feel like being intimate tonight.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Something's changed in you, Yuki."

"Well for starters, I'm pregnant."

He had no humor tonight. "Besides that...you're dark. You don't look at me with the same eyes anymore. All I can see is fear."

I tried to move closer to him in the coffin but I couldn't. I was so confused...

_He doesn't love you, Yuki._

_He's manipulating you._

I can hear Akira's voice whisper out to me. Since I released him from the bottle the first time; he has taken over my thoughts - as if he was able to enter my mind. What I've done was suicide. If a person opened a bottled soul, they've become connected. I'm losing my connection with Kaname.

I shot my eyes at Kaname, my gaze was glassy eyed. "I love you, remember that." I winced. "I've been feeling sick because of the baby." And another thing that confused me was were you supposed to have

He kisses me, stroking my hair. "You'll be a good mother do you know that?" Kaname had an expression I never seen - so much happiness. He was really excited for the baby. But what if the baby was Zero's - or what if the baby was not a baby but _**babies**? _I sighed, unable to imagine the image of my body months from now.

"Can you leave me to sleep?" I yawned. I was really tired.

"Yes," he said sincerely, getting out of the coffin.

I bit my lip, he looked hurt. I was guilty. I never quick him out before but I really wanted peace to myself. I wanted to search for clarity on my own.

_He only wants you for your body, _Akira said.

He doesn't, I thought back.

_Yuki. Believe me. He doesn't love you. He wants to keep you alive until he finds the soul of his original partner._

_**What? Original partner? What do you mean by that Akira?** _

_Remember the time he showed you his memories? You saw the Hooded Woman._

_**How did you know** _-

_I can enter your mind. _

**_Who is the Hooded Woman?_**

_She was Kaname's partner. During the creation of anti-vampire weapons, Kaname's life was endangered but the Hooded Woman saved him by sacrificing herself. The humans took her blood and threw her heart in molten metal. Something within Kaname changed since then. She was more than his mentor, she was his lover. He was heartbroken, so distressed that he was unable to save her that on the night she was killed, he locked himself in the coffin for eternal rest._

I winced. _**It doesn't make sense though, Akira. Why didn't he look for her soul and find a body for her immediately - not thousands of years.**  
><em>

_You need to learn more about your heritage Yuki. Think about the death of my body. Think why Rido gave my body to Kaname and think why he hadn't looked for a body._

I could feel myself crying. It couldn't be true.

_I know you know._

**NO. NO I DON'T. HE LOVES ME AKIRA. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN. NEVER SPEAK TO ME.**

_You can't deny the truth, Yuki. You can't. Remember the history of what you learned of the death of my control over my body. Rido needed me because I'm blood related to him. I was an easy target to have my body be taken and possessed. Souls can't take in bodies unless the body is pure blood and genetically the same as the Master's. Why do you think he keeps you isolated? Keeps you away from protection? Keeps you locked up? Why do you think he goes on long trips that he never tells you for days - weeks even? He's looking for the Hooded Woman. Once he finds her, he'll kill the baby that's growing in your womb and then you. You need to get out of the house before you're another soul added to the tree. You don't want to be another lost soul. Runaway Yuki. Runaway. He only wants you for your body. Runaway Yuki. Run. Run before it's too late._

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Gah ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER! D:<strong>

**Yes, I incorporated the Hooded Woman. If you guys don't know who she is, research! She's on a chapter in Vampire Knight about Kaname's past.  
><strong>

**Been bummed. I got alot super mean reviews by guests on my Legend of Korra stuff. I hate it when the super mean reviews are from guests because I can't report it or tell them off :( they've been harassing my legend of Korra stories and been bullying me as a person. I couldn't take it that I deleted my Legend of Korra stories. It's weird because that's the only category fic I get harassed on. Other stories of mine I do not get harassed.  
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**eee enough jabber  
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**I hope you guys liked it. (crossing fingers for a 100)  
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	16. I Didn't Expect This

**Author's Note: First off, I expected to just get 4 reviews at the most for last chap :o THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEEING SO SWEET! special shout out to a nice fanfic person Whitechainfinalfantasyknight for being so nice :) gah school's near...I won't be able to update as much, btw this will be a 20 chap story :)**

**another alert, since school is starting this Thursday, I won't be able to update frequently. the next update will probably be three weeks from now :(  
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><p><em>Blood stains the world like an ongoing flame<em>

_Mixes with all our deeds and sins-_

_We might be different, but we are the same._

_By the blood we bond in.  
><em>

My pregnancy was nothing but confusing and excruciating. I grew more and more hungry for blood that Kaname couldn't bare it and he had to resolve my thirst with stealing blood from hospitals. My headaches got worst as I was unable to carry the weight of the growing womb. I was underweight to begin with and my pregnancy - I was unable to support my baby. The worst part was that each night I have nightmares. The nightmares were all the same - Akira warning me with words I wasn't even sure were true or not.

Months passed and the date of the baby was approaching any minute. I was fearful. What if the baby was Zero's? I'm not sure if I could even love a child - or children that belong to a former friend that raped me. Kaname was calm and assured me he would love the baby regardless. I sighed. I wonder if he would feel the same way once the baby comes. We haven't been active in months even and I wonder if he was bothered by that.

I'm sitting beside him on the couch, watching him humbly read a book. He was quiet, focused on his readings. I smiled. I wished I was studious like him. I had no patience for books. I curled beside him, resting on his shoulder. He smiles, his hand stroking me. I kissed his cheek, blushing.

"I really can't wait for the baby to come," he smiles.

I twist my nose. His hands on my stomach, rubbing the baby. "Me too-

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><p>My eyes opened, finding myself drenched in sweat. I was naked, on a cot. My heart was beating frantically, my eyes searching for some memory. What had happened? I was sitting beside Kaname in the living room earlier...<p>

"You're awake," Kaname enters, pressing a kiss on my sweaty forehead.

"What...what happened?" I whispered, hugging him.

"You passed out and went into labor."

Flashes.

Flashes of a faint memory of my labor - _I was screaming, my body trembling - unable to keep myself strong - blood is spilling out of me - drowning my body as I'm trying to find my instincts -_

"Where's the baby Kaname?" I asked, pulling the bloodied white sheets over me. I heaved, finding myself sore and full of ache.

He looked at me with sympathetic eyes. His hand touches my cheek. "You gave birth to twins," he answered firmly, remaining calm.

I swallowed hard. They weren't Kaname's children. They were Zero's. I looked into his eyes, unable to stop myself from tearing. The world didn't want me to forget about my rape. "What are they?" I asked, empty from emotion. I had to carry on. There was nothing else I can do.

"They're both boys but...Yuki," his voice changed. "That's not why I'm sad."

"You're not sad that they're not yours?" I asked, surprised. My heart was beating. What was going on? Why was he sad then?

"One of the babies died from suffocation in the womb by the umbilical cord and I was unable to save him."

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><p><strong>Author's note: sorry it's short. the poem in the beginning is a poem I made. It's the poem that explains my new fanfic name "Thebloodwebondin"<br>**


	17. an

A/N:

You guys may be wondering why it says completed when it's not.

Well...it's really difficult for me to talk about my personal life but...three weeks ago, I have been diagnosed with brain cancer. I will not say which type but I tried my best to finish all the stories and complete them before going with my treatment but I can't. There are other factors and I lost interest from this week and to know it is least likely for me to recover.

I'm very sorry but this story (and all of my others) won't be finished. I made some chapters but I feel it is not good enough since this month I've been rushing so they won't be out in the public.

Next week I'll be too busy with packing to go live at a center for my treatment that I would be unable to post anything.

I'm really sorry it has to be this way but I doubt I would survive but all my stories will be left indefinite and decided to stop unmoderating my sites.

I'm very sorry :(


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